In Shock, redux

The interviews are over and now it's time to wait. For up to two weeks--which is going to complicate the heck out of moving if I get one of them. Not to mention travel and retreat plans for the summer. Oh how I hate waiting. And not knowing. Lots of queasiness and I think it has nothing to do with meds and blood sugar....

Yesterday's interview was just okay. Matches the position, which is pretty intense freshman intro slavery. Four sections, thirty plus students in each, and the nasty possibility of five day a week teaching with the same class in two different formats (MWF 60 minutes and TTh 75).

Today's interview went really well, except for one glitch. I could tell I was coming in strong and they played to that, and I felt relaxed and confident with most of the questions. I was also impressed by my closing question to them, which they ate up and I will have to remember for future interviews: Why is YourUniversity a great place to be? What do you love about it? So overall I think I still have a good strong chance--it's just never over till the fat lady sings, because there are surely two other good candidates, and maybe more than that.

The glitch was embarrassing and annoying--it turns out there won't be any MA teaching this year, as it is already assigned--which you never would have guessed given 1) it was specifically mentioned in the ad and 2) they asked numerous questions about it early in the interview. There is actually a good side to this--it means that instead of a sabbatical replacement this apparently a floating line and if they like me (and I don't get outed on the ministry thing, presumably) it may well continue to other years. And that they like me a lot to be thinking of that already and looking for my input to help grow the program and specifically to create a new spiritual direction/pastoral counseling class and teach it in the future. The downside is that it made for an awkward discussion as I figured this out, and that I had enthused so much about the MA teaching opportunity that I hope I didn't sound like I was above teaching the undergrads or something.

It turns out that this would also be intro classes, 2 sections of Intro to Religion and 2 of Catholicism (like the small women's college I taught at, the students have to take two religion courses but can choose which rather than having a standard intro. It does give some more investment and less resentment). At least one would an evening adult learner class--the Catholicism one if I heard them correctly. I am fine with those--two preps actually sounds more interesting than four sections of one, especially if they are more reasonably distributed, and if I can work in some World Religions stuff to the first it's all the better for job searching in case I don't get to stay on there. One person did ask what I hoped to teach--always stressful and especially when they actually have the assignment made, as this turned out--but again, it probably means they were looking at department building rather than just covering one year.

TechnoGuy and HockeyBoy were still there when I got out so I debriefed a bit, then played CandyLand with Ladybug and read her a couple hours worth of Azkaban. Then we ate lunch and I cleaned out her clothes and have a couple bags to give away--the only concrete step I can take toward a possible move at this point, except for some initial school research. I enjoyed her company and it took my mind off things, and actually felt how tired and anxious I am more when TG arrived home at 2 as requested to spell me a bit. He got her set up with a little Sesame, a little computer (both forbidden on weekdays but waived for illness) and now she is cutting out playdough and showing me her creations. I need to get HockeyBoy a little early so he can take some money out of the bank to buy his replacement phone (stepped into the ocean with his phone in his trunks pocket after both of us told him to leave it home....) and though I have piecrust thawing for quiche will put that off till tomorrow and get take out or something. Then we will at least start the Chamber of Secrets movie, now that that book is finished.

I have my spiritual directors peer supervision meeting tomorrow--long drive but I like the ladies. Wish I knew if this was goodbye or not though. And Friday afternoon is the parish directors/directors in training meeting which I would really like to skip if I'm moving but again I can't know. Argh. Unless the first school calls as promised Thursday and can actually tell me they'll be making an offer, since I don't think I can justify turning it down unless I get the other one. I guess if I am really trashed I can just send in my bio and let them go at it. (There is a forum scheduled for late August to be looosely planned and a newsletter article which one person has drafted to be edited. And policy about fees and locations is still up in the air as I haven't been able to find the sure truth about the precedent the rector was concealing). I like the meeting tomorrow but with the drive it takes a lot of time and energy. And I didn't even realize that everyone would be home on Friday for the holiday and it sounds more fun to have fun with my family and/or giving myself some recovery time. Yeah, I am starting to feel it's not worth pushing myself. So maybe I will opt out now to give people some notice.

Did I mention I hate waiting and not knowing and not being able to prepare for a fast move if necessary? We have frequently moved on short notice but the cross country ones have all been for TG's work and had moving assistance from his firms, so we often didn't have to pack and never had to drive. So this is a lot more stressful. We might need and be able to take advantage of TG's firm offering summer furloughs at one third pay to help the process along-we have his bonus saved and we will be transitioning to a higher income and much lower cost of living so we could take on a little short term debt if necessary--but it would really help to be able to plan that asap. So my current prayer is that I will get job #2 and that I will know either way in one week at the latest rather than two.

Many, many thanks for all the love and prayers--I could really feel them going into the interview this morning, even sleep deprived and a little nervous. And even if I don't get either job I have had good practice and good confidence building from the whole thing--so I need to remember it really is a win-win. Oh, and the joy of writing my book after such fantastic progress Saturday and Monday. Yeah, a much better use of my time and energy on Friday if I am going to do any writing. Okay, I will write those directors and free myself up there.

One bright spot of the day was a pretty decent response from the assistant rector. She is not pushing me to meet with YM and offered to meet with TG and me herself to get info on how to better guide him--which is a pleasant surprise and I hope she really means. I don't have time to waste meeting with her, esp. if we may not be here, but I can certainly write up the concerns and email. She said she was sorry it had been painful for me but didn't have the gumption to admit YM had had bad behavior we didn't deserve and obviously didn't lean on him to apologize as I have heard nothing from him. And she did phrase it as "I will accept your judgment that a meeting with YM would not be helpful at this time"--as if she had the authority to do otherwise. But it could have been a lot worse.

Okay, time to think about getting HockeyBoy. Hope the movie night is restorative for all concerned.