Sally writes at RevGals: In readiness for my move in 6 weeks time I spent almost all of yesterday morning sorting through my wardrobe ( closet, I am so British :-) marvelling at how I had accumulated so much stuff! The result is three large sacks full of clothes to be given away. Some came into the category of " what was I thinking", some too big now ( at last), and others I will never shrink into again. Some are going simply because I want to streamline my wardrobe. So how about you:
This is quite apropos for me as, with a campus interview for a college teaching position imminent, I need to buy some appropriate clothes--and sort through what I and we have to simplify things for the move that will, please Godde, follow about the same time at Sally's!
1. Are you a hoarder, or are you good at sorting and clearing?
I am good at sorting and clearing, and it has been built in to our many moves....Though time shortage sometimes gets me out of the habit. I recently gave away many of my clothes, dividing them between the Goodwill and (for the nursing clothes) the crisis pregnancy center. I also helped my daughter Ladybug go through her clothes this week and we have a pile for the Goodwill and a pile of uniforms for her old Montessori.
2. What is the oddest garment you possess and why?
Probably the lovely violet chasuble with a chi-rho, which swims on me....Without a settled church appointment I buy or make my own vestments, which mostly consist of stoles (all I can make) and one gorgeous red chasuble with a Brigid's cross made by my best friend. I got the chasuble at a bargain online and it is well made--but I should have bought the simple style, which looked small on the model. (Male, of course). This is the longer, fuller monastic style with a hood and even on a slightly taller than average woman it is way too big!
3. Do you have a favourite look/ colour?
Colors: hot pink, purple, red. Look: comfy yet elegant.
4. Thrift/ Charity shops, love them or hate them?
Love them. It's fun to find clothes there, so sometimes takes too long, but what I really love is the knick-knack shelves, for my collection of angels, Mary's, Jesus's, Goddesses, etc. I learned from a previous spiritual director the lovely practice of having full and diverse shelves for people to choose items from and build an altar for the session, if they like. Those will get culled too, though, for the move.
5. Money is no object, what one item would you buy?
Really comfortable and professional looking shoes to teach in...or maybe a comfy yet elegant bespoke skirt suit for the same purpose!
Friday, July 3, 2009
Thursday, July 2, 2009
Novena to St. Benedict
To be said from today, July 2, till his feastday on July 11. I haven't done too many novenas, but this is a good time for all the prayer support I can get--especially for the perfect job where I can live out the Benedictine vocation of prayer and work!
Glorious St. Benedict, sublime model of virtue, pure vessel of God's grace! Behold me humbly kneeling at your feet. I implore you in your loving kindness to pray for me before the throne Of God. To you I have recourse in the dangers that daily surround me. Shield me against my selfishness and my indifference to God and to my neighbour. Inspire me to imitate you in all things. May your blessing be with me always, so that I may see and serve Christ in others and work for His kingdom.
Graciously obtain for me from God those favours and graces which I need so much in the trials, miseries and afflictions of life. Your heart was always full of love, compassion and mercy toward those who were afflicted or troubled in any way. You never dismissed without consolation and assistance anyone who had recourse to you. I therefore invoke your powerful intercession, confident in the hope that you will hear my prayer and obtain for me the special grace and favour I earnestly implore (name it).
Help me, great St. Benedict, to live and die as a faithful child of God, to run in the sweetness of [Her] loving will and to attain the eternal happiness of heaven. Amen.
Glorious St. Benedict, sublime model of virtue, pure vessel of God's grace! Behold me humbly kneeling at your feet. I implore you in your loving kindness to pray for me before the throne Of God. To you I have recourse in the dangers that daily surround me. Shield me against my selfishness and my indifference to God and to my neighbour. Inspire me to imitate you in all things. May your blessing be with me always, so that I may see and serve Christ in others and work for His kingdom.
Graciously obtain for me from God those favours and graces which I need so much in the trials, miseries and afflictions of life. Your heart was always full of love, compassion and mercy toward those who were afflicted or troubled in any way. You never dismissed without consolation and assistance anyone who had recourse to you. I therefore invoke your powerful intercession, confident in the hope that you will hear my prayer and obtain for me the special grace and favour I earnestly implore (name it).
Help me, great St. Benedict, to live and die as a faithful child of God, to run in the sweetness of [Her] loving will and to attain the eternal happiness of heaven. Amen.
Wednesday, July 1, 2009
Calming the Storm
Cleaning out the inbox and found this from a Benedictine e-list I'm on--yesterday's Gospel and commentary but right what I need today!
Holy Gospel of Jesus Christ according to Saint Matthew 8:23-27.He got into a boat and his disciples followed him. Suddenly a violent storm came up on the sea, so that the boat was being swamped by waves; but he was asleep. They came and woke him, saying, "Lord, save us! We are perishing!" He said to them, "Why are you terrified, O you of little faith?" Then he got up, rebuked the winds and the sea, and there was great calm. The men were amazed and said, "What sort of man is this, whom even the winds and the sea obey?"
Commentary of the day : Saint Augustine (354-430), Bishop of Hippo (North Africa) and Doctor of the Church Meditations, ch. 37
"Lord, save us!"O my God, my heart is like an immense sea, constantly tossed about by storms: may it find its peace and rest in you. You commanded the winds and the sea to be calm and they were stilled at the sound of your voice; come, still my heart's restlessness so that everything within me may be calm and peaceful and so that I may possess you, O my only good, and contemplate you, O sweet light of my eyes, free from disturbance or darkness. O my God, may my soul, set free from restless thoughts of this world, «hide under the shadow of your wings» (Ps 17[16],8). May it find its place of refreshment and peace close to you; wholly carried out of itself with joy, may it sing: «In you alone I lie down and fall peacefully asleep» (Ps 4,9).
Let it rest, I pray, my God, let it rest from the remembrance of all that lies beneath the heaven, awake to you alone, as it is written: «I sleep, but my heart keeps vigil» (Sg 5,2). O my God, my heart cannot rest in peace or safety except beneath the wings of your protection (Ps 91[90],4). Let it therefore remain in you forever and be kindled by your fire. Rising above itself, may it contemplate you and joyfully sing your praises. In the midst of all the difficulties that disturb me, may your gifts be my sweet consolation until I come to you, O my true peace.
Holy Gospel of Jesus Christ according to Saint Matthew 8:23-27.He got into a boat and his disciples followed him. Suddenly a violent storm came up on the sea, so that the boat was being swamped by waves; but he was asleep. They came and woke him, saying, "Lord, save us! We are perishing!" He said to them, "Why are you terrified, O you of little faith?" Then he got up, rebuked the winds and the sea, and there was great calm. The men were amazed and said, "What sort of man is this, whom even the winds and the sea obey?"
Commentary of the day : Saint Augustine (354-430), Bishop of Hippo (North Africa) and Doctor of the Church Meditations, ch. 37
"Lord, save us!"O my God, my heart is like an immense sea, constantly tossed about by storms: may it find its peace and rest in you. You commanded the winds and the sea to be calm and they were stilled at the sound of your voice; come, still my heart's restlessness so that everything within me may be calm and peaceful and so that I may possess you, O my only good, and contemplate you, O sweet light of my eyes, free from disturbance or darkness. O my God, may my soul, set free from restless thoughts of this world, «hide under the shadow of your wings» (Ps 17[16],8). May it find its place of refreshment and peace close to you; wholly carried out of itself with joy, may it sing: «In you alone I lie down and fall peacefully asleep» (Ps 4,9).
Let it rest, I pray, my God, let it rest from the remembrance of all that lies beneath the heaven, awake to you alone, as it is written: «I sleep, but my heart keeps vigil» (Sg 5,2). O my God, my heart cannot rest in peace or safety except beneath the wings of your protection (Ps 91[90],4). Let it therefore remain in you forever and be kindled by your fire. Rising above itself, may it contemplate you and joyfully sing your praises. In the midst of all the difficulties that disturb me, may your gifts be my sweet consolation until I come to you, O my true peace.
In Shock, redux
The interviews are over and now it's time to wait. For up to two weeks--which is going to complicate the heck out of moving if I get one of them. Not to mention travel and retreat plans for the summer. Oh how I hate waiting. And not knowing. Lots of queasiness and I think it has nothing to do with meds and blood sugar....
Yesterday's interview was just okay. Matches the position, which is pretty intense freshman intro slavery. Four sections, thirty plus students in each, and the nasty possibility of five day a week teaching with the same class in two different formats (MWF 60 minutes and TTh 75).
Today's interview went really well, except for one glitch. I could tell I was coming in strong and they played to that, and I felt relaxed and confident with most of the questions. I was also impressed by my closing question to them, which they ate up and I will have to remember for future interviews: Why is YourUniversity a great place to be? What do you love about it? So overall I think I still have a good strong chance--it's just never over till the fat lady sings, because there are surely two other good candidates, and maybe more than that.
The glitch was embarrassing and annoying--it turns out there won't be any MA teaching this year, as it is already assigned--which you never would have guessed given 1) it was specifically mentioned in the ad and 2) they asked numerous questions about it early in the interview. There is actually a good side to this--it means that instead of a sabbatical replacement this apparently a floating line and if they like me (and I don't get outed on the ministry thing, presumably) it may well continue to other years. And that they like me a lot to be thinking of that already and looking for my input to help grow the program and specifically to create a new spiritual direction/pastoral counseling class and teach it in the future. The downside is that it made for an awkward discussion as I figured this out, and that I had enthused so much about the MA teaching opportunity that I hope I didn't sound like I was above teaching the undergrads or something.
It turns out that this would also be intro classes, 2 sections of Intro to Religion and 2 of Catholicism (like the small women's college I taught at, the students have to take two religion courses but can choose which rather than having a standard intro. It does give some more investment and less resentment). At least one would an evening adult learner class--the Catholicism one if I heard them correctly. I am fine with those--two preps actually sounds more interesting than four sections of one, especially if they are more reasonably distributed, and if I can work in some World Religions stuff to the first it's all the better for job searching in case I don't get to stay on there. One person did ask what I hoped to teach--always stressful and especially when they actually have the assignment made, as this turned out--but again, it probably means they were looking at department building rather than just covering one year.
TechnoGuy and HockeyBoy were still there when I got out so I debriefed a bit, then played CandyLand with Ladybug and read her a couple hours worth of Azkaban. Then we ate lunch and I cleaned out her clothes and have a couple bags to give away--the only concrete step I can take toward a possible move at this point, except for some initial school research. I enjoyed her company and it took my mind off things, and actually felt how tired and anxious I am more when TG arrived home at 2 as requested to spell me a bit. He got her set up with a little Sesame, a little computer (both forbidden on weekdays but waived for illness) and now she is cutting out playdough and showing me her creations. I need to get HockeyBoy a little early so he can take some money out of the bank to buy his replacement phone (stepped into the ocean with his phone in his trunks pocket after both of us told him to leave it home....) and though I have piecrust thawing for quiche will put that off till tomorrow and get take out or something. Then we will at least start the Chamber of Secrets movie, now that that book is finished.
I have my spiritual directors peer supervision meeting tomorrow--long drive but I like the ladies. Wish I knew if this was goodbye or not though. And Friday afternoon is the parish directors/directors in training meeting which I would really like to skip if I'm moving but again I can't know. Argh. Unless the first school calls as promised Thursday and can actually tell me they'll be making an offer, since I don't think I can justify turning it down unless I get the other one. I guess if I am really trashed I can just send in my bio and let them go at it. (There is a forum scheduled for late August to be looosely planned and a newsletter article which one person has drafted to be edited. And policy about fees and locations is still up in the air as I haven't been able to find the sure truth about the precedent the rector was concealing). I like the meeting tomorrow but with the drive it takes a lot of time and energy. And I didn't even realize that everyone would be home on Friday for the holiday and it sounds more fun to have fun with my family and/or giving myself some recovery time. Yeah, I am starting to feel it's not worth pushing myself. So maybe I will opt out now to give people some notice.
Did I mention I hate waiting and not knowing and not being able to prepare for a fast move if necessary? We have frequently moved on short notice but the cross country ones have all been for TG's work and had moving assistance from his firms, so we often didn't have to pack and never had to drive. So this is a lot more stressful. We might need and be able to take advantage of TG's firm offering summer furloughs at one third pay to help the process along-we have his bonus saved and we will be transitioning to a higher income and much lower cost of living so we could take on a little short term debt if necessary--but it would really help to be able to plan that asap. So my current prayer is that I will get job #2 and that I will know either way in one week at the latest rather than two.
Many, many thanks for all the love and prayers--I could really feel them going into the interview this morning, even sleep deprived and a little nervous. And even if I don't get either job I have had good practice and good confidence building from the whole thing--so I need to remember it really is a win-win. Oh, and the joy of writing my book after such fantastic progress Saturday and Monday. Yeah, a much better use of my time and energy on Friday if I am going to do any writing. Okay, I will write those directors and free myself up there.
One bright spot of the day was a pretty decent response from the assistant rector. She is not pushing me to meet with YM and offered to meet with TG and me herself to get info on how to better guide him--which is a pleasant surprise and I hope she really means. I don't have time to waste meeting with her, esp. if we may not be here, but I can certainly write up the concerns and email. She said she was sorry it had been painful for me but didn't have the gumption to admit YM had had bad behavior we didn't deserve and obviously didn't lean on him to apologize as I have heard nothing from him. And she did phrase it as "I will accept your judgment that a meeting with YM would not be helpful at this time"--as if she had the authority to do otherwise. But it could have been a lot worse.
Okay, time to think about getting HockeyBoy. Hope the movie night is restorative for all concerned.
Yesterday's interview was just okay. Matches the position, which is pretty intense freshman intro slavery. Four sections, thirty plus students in each, and the nasty possibility of five day a week teaching with the same class in two different formats (MWF 60 minutes and TTh 75).
Today's interview went really well, except for one glitch. I could tell I was coming in strong and they played to that, and I felt relaxed and confident with most of the questions. I was also impressed by my closing question to them, which they ate up and I will have to remember for future interviews: Why is YourUniversity a great place to be? What do you love about it? So overall I think I still have a good strong chance--it's just never over till the fat lady sings, because there are surely two other good candidates, and maybe more than that.
The glitch was embarrassing and annoying--it turns out there won't be any MA teaching this year, as it is already assigned--which you never would have guessed given 1) it was specifically mentioned in the ad and 2) they asked numerous questions about it early in the interview. There is actually a good side to this--it means that instead of a sabbatical replacement this apparently a floating line and if they like me (and I don't get outed on the ministry thing, presumably) it may well continue to other years. And that they like me a lot to be thinking of that already and looking for my input to help grow the program and specifically to create a new spiritual direction/pastoral counseling class and teach it in the future. The downside is that it made for an awkward discussion as I figured this out, and that I had enthused so much about the MA teaching opportunity that I hope I didn't sound like I was above teaching the undergrads or something.
It turns out that this would also be intro classes, 2 sections of Intro to Religion and 2 of Catholicism (like the small women's college I taught at, the students have to take two religion courses but can choose which rather than having a standard intro. It does give some more investment and less resentment). At least one would an evening adult learner class--the Catholicism one if I heard them correctly. I am fine with those--two preps actually sounds more interesting than four sections of one, especially if they are more reasonably distributed, and if I can work in some World Religions stuff to the first it's all the better for job searching in case I don't get to stay on there. One person did ask what I hoped to teach--always stressful and especially when they actually have the assignment made, as this turned out--but again, it probably means they were looking at department building rather than just covering one year.
TechnoGuy and HockeyBoy were still there when I got out so I debriefed a bit, then played CandyLand with Ladybug and read her a couple hours worth of Azkaban. Then we ate lunch and I cleaned out her clothes and have a couple bags to give away--the only concrete step I can take toward a possible move at this point, except for some initial school research. I enjoyed her company and it took my mind off things, and actually felt how tired and anxious I am more when TG arrived home at 2 as requested to spell me a bit. He got her set up with a little Sesame, a little computer (both forbidden on weekdays but waived for illness) and now she is cutting out playdough and showing me her creations. I need to get HockeyBoy a little early so he can take some money out of the bank to buy his replacement phone (stepped into the ocean with his phone in his trunks pocket after both of us told him to leave it home....) and though I have piecrust thawing for quiche will put that off till tomorrow and get take out or something. Then we will at least start the Chamber of Secrets movie, now that that book is finished.
I have my spiritual directors peer supervision meeting tomorrow--long drive but I like the ladies. Wish I knew if this was goodbye or not though. And Friday afternoon is the parish directors/directors in training meeting which I would really like to skip if I'm moving but again I can't know. Argh. Unless the first school calls as promised Thursday and can actually tell me they'll be making an offer, since I don't think I can justify turning it down unless I get the other one. I guess if I am really trashed I can just send in my bio and let them go at it. (There is a forum scheduled for late August to be looosely planned and a newsletter article which one person has drafted to be edited. And policy about fees and locations is still up in the air as I haven't been able to find the sure truth about the precedent the rector was concealing). I like the meeting tomorrow but with the drive it takes a lot of time and energy. And I didn't even realize that everyone would be home on Friday for the holiday and it sounds more fun to have fun with my family and/or giving myself some recovery time. Yeah, I am starting to feel it's not worth pushing myself. So maybe I will opt out now to give people some notice.
Did I mention I hate waiting and not knowing and not being able to prepare for a fast move if necessary? We have frequently moved on short notice but the cross country ones have all been for TG's work and had moving assistance from his firms, so we often didn't have to pack and never had to drive. So this is a lot more stressful. We might need and be able to take advantage of TG's firm offering summer furloughs at one third pay to help the process along-we have his bonus saved and we will be transitioning to a higher income and much lower cost of living so we could take on a little short term debt if necessary--but it would really help to be able to plan that asap. So my current prayer is that I will get job #2 and that I will know either way in one week at the latest rather than two.
Many, many thanks for all the love and prayers--I could really feel them going into the interview this morning, even sleep deprived and a little nervous. And even if I don't get either job I have had good practice and good confidence building from the whole thing--so I need to remember it really is a win-win. Oh, and the joy of writing my book after such fantastic progress Saturday and Monday. Yeah, a much better use of my time and energy on Friday if I am going to do any writing. Okay, I will write those directors and free myself up there.
One bright spot of the day was a pretty decent response from the assistant rector. She is not pushing me to meet with YM and offered to meet with TG and me herself to get info on how to better guide him--which is a pleasant surprise and I hope she really means. I don't have time to waste meeting with her, esp. if we may not be here, but I can certainly write up the concerns and email. She said she was sorry it had been painful for me but didn't have the gumption to admit YM had had bad behavior we didn't deserve and obviously didn't lean on him to apologize as I have heard nothing from him. And she did phrase it as "I will accept your judgment that a meeting with YM would not be helpful at this time"--as if she had the authority to do otherwise. But it could have been a lot worse.
Okay, time to think about getting HockeyBoy. Hope the movie night is restorative for all concerned.
Tuesday, June 30, 2009
OMG
TechnoGuy took Ladybug to the doctor and it took a really long time--they are just now checking out and heading to the pharmacy to get the antibiotics--so it's a good thing I didn't do that.
I was research-racing through the university's website and feeling really nervous, with an hour and a half to go (an hour, now), when I took a break to check email and found two pieces of very good news.
The conference paper was accepted for October, so I can tell them that (I listed it on the c.v. as "proposed").
And....drum roll....
The other school I applied to wants to phone interview me tomorrow! At first I thought it was further information about today's interview....I had given up on both but I guess it took them longer than they anticipated to read the fifty to a hundred applications.
Since it was a very friendly email I even got my courage up and asked about what the likely courseload would be--a major thing they are looking for is the capability of teaching in their master's program, which is of course also a major draw for me if I get really lucky and get to pick. I think I would do great at that, and could teach almost all of them with enough prep time, but it would definitely help me brainstorm teaching strategies and resources to draw on for the interview if I knew which classes I'd be aiming for.
Very exciting, very confidence building, though I am still nervous about the actual interviews and know there are no guarantees. But interviewing is always good practice and even if neither one pans out it is a sign of how strong my application is going into the next year's full search.
I left a message first thing cancelling my massage appt at the chiropractor's and she just called back and I rescheduled it for right after the interview. Feel slightly guilty about leaving a little sick girl and a behind on his daily programming spouse--but he can hook her up with some videos till I get back. I need all the emotional and spiritual preparation I can get at this point.
Wow, it's really good to feel more excited than nervous...though that may change as the time ticks on. Forty six minutes left now--I'll get back to the first school's website and see what I can learn.
Keep you posted!
I was research-racing through the university's website and feeling really nervous, with an hour and a half to go (an hour, now), when I took a break to check email and found two pieces of very good news.
The conference paper was accepted for October, so I can tell them that (I listed it on the c.v. as "proposed").
And....drum roll....
The other school I applied to wants to phone interview me tomorrow! At first I thought it was further information about today's interview....I had given up on both but I guess it took them longer than they anticipated to read the fifty to a hundred applications.
Since it was a very friendly email I even got my courage up and asked about what the likely courseload would be--a major thing they are looking for is the capability of teaching in their master's program, which is of course also a major draw for me if I get really lucky and get to pick. I think I would do great at that, and could teach almost all of them with enough prep time, but it would definitely help me brainstorm teaching strategies and resources to draw on for the interview if I knew which classes I'd be aiming for.
Very exciting, very confidence building, though I am still nervous about the actual interviews and know there are no guarantees. But interviewing is always good practice and even if neither one pans out it is a sign of how strong my application is going into the next year's full search.
I left a message first thing cancelling my massage appt at the chiropractor's and she just called back and I rescheduled it for right after the interview. Feel slightly guilty about leaving a little sick girl and a behind on his daily programming spouse--but he can hook her up with some videos till I get back. I need all the emotional and spiritual preparation I can get at this point.
Wow, it's really good to feel more excited than nervous...though that may change as the time ticks on. Forty six minutes left now--I'll get back to the first school's website and see what I can learn.
Keep you posted!
Phone Interview
...today at 11 am, i.e. a little under five hours from now. OMG.
Got the call from the dept. secretary at 5:15 am--they're on Eastern time and she didn't think to look where I was! So I will hustle myself to their website and a do a little more prep research. They are trying to get their interviews in this week but who knows when they will decide.
Poor Ladybug just woke up--she came home feeling bad from Boys and Girls club and is doing much worse tomorrow with fever, sore throat, and some wheezing/ breathing difficulty. So getting her to the doctor first thing is a major priority too.
Prayers on both counts appreciated.
Got the call from the dept. secretary at 5:15 am--they're on Eastern time and she didn't think to look where I was! So I will hustle myself to their website and a do a little more prep research. They are trying to get their interviews in this week but who knows when they will decide.
Poor Ladybug just woke up--she came home feeling bad from Boys and Girls club and is doing much worse tomorrow with fever, sore throat, and some wheezing/ breathing difficulty. So getting her to the doctor first thing is a major priority too.
Prayers on both counts appreciated.
Sunday, June 28, 2009
Positive Developments at Church
I was really nervous about church this morning, both because of last week and because it was my second time as chalice bearer--and the last time I performed those complicated responsibilities was six weeks ago. It went beautifully, though, and I really enjoyed serving at the altar as well as connecting with the other LEM and the acolyte, who happened to be my dear new friend from the parish. It was a little awkward at first that I ended up paired with the rector for most of the service: I bore the Gospel book out in the procession and held it for him to read, we stood side by side at the altar and worked together at the rail and then going out into the congregation to the disabled folks. But that also provided some healing by the end of the service, as it is hard to serve and pray together and maintain full hostilities--and the leadership role and the privilege of offering the chalice to all those solemn, beautiful faces eased my usual pain at being silenced in the pew while he abuses his power or glosses over the fact of having done so. Even the mediocre sermon couldn't do much to damage my peace of mind, especially when I meditated on those awesome readings.
Afterward there was a birthday party in the play area which TG took the kids to, which turned out to be a blessing because I ended up connecting well with a wide variety of loved parishioners--including a healing team sister who had been waiting to see if I was staying in town to ask me for spiritual direction! (And enthused at length again about the Ignatian retreat). I talked to the other team sister whose perspective I no longer share, which was a little awkward and at first guilt-inducing as I realized she was assuming I did--but surely being able to be loving to both sides, agreeing on as much as I could without lying about anything I didn't, is a sign of maturity and growth. TG and I had looked at local churches again last night for at least a part time escape, and found the TEC church we went to last year now has moved the contemporary service to Saturday evening--and that the nasty priest who drove me away is gone--so we will probably try that next week to free up Sunday. But today really confirmed again that this is my community, I am not leaving, and I can move beyond and hold more lightly the things that have caused so much pain. Thanks be to Godde.
I got home to find the letter from the associate rector and wrote a great reply, cc'd to the youth minister--with TG's vetting of course--and felt even more regaining of my freedom and dignity and valid power. So then it felt great to read a couple chapters of Chamber of Secrets with Ladybug while TG and HB did their computer wargame. We will head out for the year's first beach outing imminently and TG and my date can be dinner while HB reads to and tucks in Ladybug (hence the preemptive mom and daughter time). Couldn't be more different than last weekend in some ways and yet it is the fruit of last weekend and the loving mercy of Godde as found in Her people is the same. Tired but grateful and peaceful. Good week and good Sunday.
Afterward there was a birthday party in the play area which TG took the kids to, which turned out to be a blessing because I ended up connecting well with a wide variety of loved parishioners--including a healing team sister who had been waiting to see if I was staying in town to ask me for spiritual direction! (And enthused at length again about the Ignatian retreat). I talked to the other team sister whose perspective I no longer share, which was a little awkward and at first guilt-inducing as I realized she was assuming I did--but surely being able to be loving to both sides, agreeing on as much as I could without lying about anything I didn't, is a sign of maturity and growth. TG and I had looked at local churches again last night for at least a part time escape, and found the TEC church we went to last year now has moved the contemporary service to Saturday evening--and that the nasty priest who drove me away is gone--so we will probably try that next week to free up Sunday. But today really confirmed again that this is my community, I am not leaving, and I can move beyond and hold more lightly the things that have caused so much pain. Thanks be to Godde.
I got home to find the letter from the associate rector and wrote a great reply, cc'd to the youth minister--with TG's vetting of course--and felt even more regaining of my freedom and dignity and valid power. So then it felt great to read a couple chapters of Chamber of Secrets with Ladybug while TG and HB did their computer wargame. We will head out for the year's first beach outing imminently and TG and my date can be dinner while HB reads to and tucks in Ladybug (hence the preemptive mom and daughter time). Couldn't be more different than last weekend in some ways and yet it is the fruit of last weekend and the loving mercy of Godde as found in Her people is the same. Tired but grateful and peaceful. Good week and good Sunday.
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